A Letter to a Mother

I've already talked a little bit about how one of my worst fears is passing on my own image issues and mean inner voice to my sweet little girl.  So the initial words of this article plucked the strings of my heart immediately.  It's a letter from a daughter to her mother, about how her mother unwittingly did just that - pass it on.

Dear Mum, 

I was seven when I discovered that you were fat, ugly and horrible. Up until that point I had believed that you were beautiful – in every sense of the word. I remember flicking through old photo albums and staring at pictures of you standing on the deck of a boat. Your white strapless bathing suit looked so glamorous, just like a movie star. Whenever I had the chance I’d pull out that wondrous white bathing suit hidden in your bottom drawer and imagine a time when I’d be big enough to wear it; when I’d be like you. 

But all of that changed when, one night, we were dressed up for a party and you said to me, ‘‘Look at you, so thin, beautiful and lovely. And look at me, fat, ugly and horrible.’’
At first I didn’t understand what you meant. 

‘‘You’re not fat,’’ I said earnestly and innocently, and you replied, ‘‘Yes I am, darling. I’ve always been fat; even as a child.’’ 

In the days that followed I had some painful revelations that have shaped my whole life. 

I learned that:     1. You must be fat because mothers don’t lie.     2. Fat is ugly and horrible.     3. When I grow up I’ll look like you and therefore I will be fat, ugly and horrible too.

I recommend reading her entire letter as I loved all of her thoughts.

What I took away most is this:  We must be strong.  We mothers must talk about ourselves in such a way that our daughters never learn they are anything but lovely, and our sons learn what true loveliness is.

As for us, let's just allow ourselves to be the beautiful, lovely, wonderful mommies our sweet children see.

In the language of flowers, Baby's Breath means Innocence.   

Like our sweet children.